Today is such a happy day for me. Guess what?! At last I got my score for the last subject that I’ve waited for this three weeks. Thank you Allah for all your blessings. This whole month, I nearly feel scared out of my wits of getting so many perfect scores. Of course I’m so grateful of getting those excellent scores (Alhamdulillah), but in my opinion I’m not that marvellous. I’m sorry Pa and Mom, but that’s my opinion. I mean, I just could answer or merely just build a frame of what are actually asked. For me, examinations are only a barometre to measure our understanding in those several questions. But can we still identify or understand their symtoms if they turn out to be in the reality? Those theories are too fantastic sometimes! Like they say, “in a condition of ceteris paribus”.. This statement always make me wanna laugh, hehe 😀 But still all of them are good as a guideline..
The most important thing of all for me, is the process of learning and the experiences themselves. What you have said were really true, Papa. I learn many things here, especially in appreciating the means of the knowledge itself. I’m beginning to learn to see what that I’ve learn here in an abstract but a solid mindset. So you see, knowledges are actually enjoyful things if we try to approach them in a ‘loving’ manner (that’s what I usually stated when I start facing a difficult phase in comprehending a certain subject, hehe 😛 ). I hate to learn things in a ‘forced’ condition, it seems to me that me myself don’t appreciate the state of the art of the subject itself. I like to see them through.. uhm.. like the one which is seen from a child who is still new to the world. It really help me to enjoy them all and feel the interesting desire to know and learn more about them. The sense of eagerness is something very important to me. That’s why I really appreciate and thankful to all of the professors and lecturers who have given and built a nice and interesting atmosphere of learning in the class. They really help me in understanding many things which I never realize before in my previous level of learning. So, thank you very much to all of you, sir.
Why do I’m so afraid of a perfect grade? Actually it is nothing to do with the ‘A’ itself, but it is the means of responsibility that follow the grade. I know that most of my friends will say, “what a silly girl you are, for denying your own ability..” I’m not denying my own abilities and capabilities, as long as I’m REALLY in a condition of a so-called EXPERT, then I really will accept them happily. For information, I never done a ‘copycat’ stuff in examinations and I’m very proud of it. If I got C then that was the real point of my understanding. Through that then I know my OWN ability and which parts that I need to polish more in order to improve my comprehension. That’s my principles..
The scary thing as I said earlier is the responsibility of getting the A’s. The matter of fact is that our responsibility to the people who trust us later, when we are receive to work and the opinion of the community where we live in. Maybe I’m thinking to much ahead, but .. this is me. I’m not scared about the trailed-story of these A’s and their relation to my future life, but I really want to be an honest citizen. Just feel uneasy with those who too highestimating myself. Sorry guys, this is the real me. Just trying to be modest. By the way, thanks for the appreciations as well.
Back again to the headline, thanks so much sir for giving my only ‘other grade’. For the others, thanks for trusting me with your scores. Surely, they really give challenges to me in the future (^_^). OK, let’s face this semester with a new-bright spirit!
For Papa and Mom, thank you for everything. May Allah blessed us all, Amien (^_^)